Evening classes for men

I could not resist posting - many of them make sense, enjoy and give me feedback please :)

WICOE
(Women In Charge Of Everything)

Is proud to announce the opening of its
EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN!
OPEN TO MEN ONLY
ALL ARE WELCOME

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants

The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include:

DAY ONE

HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS
Step by step guide with slide presentation

TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS?
Roundtable discussion

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR
Practising with hamper (Pictures and graphics)

DISHES & SILVERWARE;
DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK
OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES?
Debate among a panel of experts.

REMOTE CONTROL
Losing the remote control - Help line and support groups

LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS
Starting with looking in the right place
Instead of turning the house upside down while screaming -
Open forum


DAY TWO

EMPTY MILK CARTONS;
DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN?
Group discussion and role play

HEALTH WATCH;
BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH
PowerPoint presentation

REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST
Real life testimonial from the one man who did

IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY
AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS?
Driving simulation

LIVING WITH ADULTS;
BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN
YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER
Online class and role playing

HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION
Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques

REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES
& CALLING WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE
Bring your calendar or PDA to class

GETTING OVER IT;
LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME
Individual counsellors available

Lipstick theory

I bought a new lipstick yesterday called 'party red' but what drew me to it was the quote on the cover :P

" Men may come and go but lipstick is forever"

Genius !

My 'Big' Purple One

Quality Street Chocolate have a special place in my heart since my childhood years. Those were the chocolates that visitors would bring with them or that we would take with us when we visited someone's house. So it was a treat.


The thing is I did not like all the chocolates in the box. I had my favourites and this is how they were classified :

1. The green triangle
2. The toffee finger
3. The toffee penny
4. The purple one
   
5. The chocolate toffee cup
   

The rest I did not really care about much. Some have been removed to be replaced by others.

Then as I grew older one flavour stood out and I found myself when offered chocolates diving for the purple one ( maybe because they replaced the brazil nut with hazelnut ?) and actually asking for another one. I'm thinking the Nestle people have laced it with some kind of drug , because most people I know now all want the purple one... . I wished that they would make the whole box with individually wrapped purple ones ! How weird to see my wish come true today....

I was happily shopping for tuna fish at the supermarket when Pearl screamed 'mummy I want this !'

My eyes alighted on a giant purple Quality street chocolate for sale! A larger version of my favourite flavour in a box of similar ones...Those people in marketing have really cornered the market ! They must have listened to people's wishes or to the results of the voting campaign: 'what's your favourite?'

The size of the purple one is quite generous and for once I feel satisfied with the taste that I have been craving for so long. DIVINE.

The tag my purple one is catchy and a bit corny too .Of course the wrapper being my favourite colour has nothing to do with it :P

Want to share your favourite chocolate ?

Happy New Year from Pearl and Violet

A come back joke : Choosing your man for happiness- the ultimate guide 

I thought it would be best to return to blogging with a little poke at Libyan men.

Please don't be offended as we love you very much!

My question is are these characteristics true ?

دليل السعادة .. في اختيار الرجل

 

   من تحب الجود والكرم..تأخذ خليجي

 من تحب النفخة....تأخذ تركي

 من تحب الجدية.....تأخذ انجليزي

من تحب الجبنة...تأخذ فرنسي

 من تحب الصبر والجلد...تأخذ هندي

من تحب قلة العقل...تأخذ صيني

 من تحب التكنولوجيا...تأخذ ياباني

 من تحب الجاذبية...تأخذ اسباني

 من تحب المكرونه.....تأخذ ايطالي

من تحب البساطة...تأخذ هولندي

  من تحب العشق و الدلال...تأخذ لبناني

 من تحب السحر...تأخذ مغربي

 من تحب ثقل الدم..تأخذ اردني 

من تحب الكسل.....تأخذ سوداني

         من تحب النكد...تأخذ فلسطيني    

 من تحب الخشونة تأخذ سوري

من تحب الكلام العسل تاخد مصري 

^      واللي تبي الأجر تأخذ

 ليبي

ولها ثواب كبير إن شاء الله

The uses of Facebook and other online social networks


In the Arab world traditions have it that whenthere is intent for marriage, the family of the groom usually asks about the bride and her family. They ask neighbours, work colleagues, school and do a little investigation about her suitability. But the girl's family also asks about the groom and his family so that there will be no surprises later. Some brides were known to refuse the offer if the suitor drinks (even socially) and is perfect in every other aspect as an example. Or maybe the marriage request is pulled of the table if the girl had been engaged before. It all depends on personal preference but basically it is about suitability and beeing of equal standing and peers in the society and not just about knowing if the girl has slept around or if the guy is a drug addict. My online friend T sent me this cartoon ( thanks ) and although I laughed at first, its significance struck me as being totally in sync with the times do you know why ? first let me say briefly what it means for those who can't read Arabic ....

Black and white cartoon: In the past
" You know what, before we go and ask for her hand let's go and ask about her and her parents for their neighbours and hopefully it will be good!"

Colour cartoon : In the present

"Don't tell your parents about her yet man, why dont you probe about her on facebook, check her profile, pictures, list of friends and who sent her flowers. Then investigate in Hi5 and it won't be wrong to Google her name see what comes up ... I mean I don't have anything specific on her, but you never know!"

Ironically this is exactly what happened to one of my neighbours, someone proposed to her and she and her cousin checked his profile on Facebook, he had 130 friends and they were all female :P.

Suffice to say that she was not too pleased about this... I don't know what happened afterwards.

Um Rayed's visit to her son abroad!

Rayed is studying abroad and his mum has come to visit him. To her surprise she is also greeted by his roomate Natasha. The rest to be followed in Arabic...

ما عرفت شو تساوي بس لاحظت إن (ناتاشا ) اللي متشاركة مع ولدها بالغرفه حلوة
... و جذابة... ،،،
فـتوقعت إن في علاقة بينهم ، وهالشي خلاها تحس بالفضوووووول الشديد .........

رائد قدر يقرا أفكار أمه، و تصرف بسرعة، وقال لأمه : أنا عارف شو اللي قاعده
بتفكري فيه،
بس حبيت أطمنك إني انا و ناتاشا مجرد زملاء، متشاركين بالغرفه لا أكثر ولا أقل

المهم بعد فترة رجعت أم رائد على بيتها
بعد شي أسبوع ... ناتاشا قالت لرائد : من يوم سافرت أمك من عنا و أنا
فاقده الطاسه الفضيه تبعت السكر ... تعتقد أمك خذتها معاها ؟
رائد قال : أشك بهالشي، بس خليني أرسل لها أيميل عشان أتأكد ، قعد و كتب
الإيميل لأمه -

أمي الحبيبه:
أنا ما أقول إنك ( أخذتي ) طاسة السكر الفضية من بيتي ... ولا أقول إنك (ما
خذيتيها )،
بس الحقيقه إن الطاسة الفضيه تبعت السكر ضاعت من أول ما رجعتي الأردن .
تحياتي ...
رائد

بعد كم يوم ، وصل له رد أمه على الإيميل و الرد يقول :
عزيزي رائد:
أنا ما أقول إنك ( تنام ) مع ناتاشا، ولا أقول إنك (ما تنام ) معاها ...
بس الحقيقه تقول ..
إن لو هي تنام على سريرها الخاص، كان لقت طاسة السكر الفضيه عليه من أول ما
رجعت أنا للأردن.

تحياتي . أمك يا حمار

Is it really true ?

One of my readers sent me this by email! (thanks T). I was wondering if men really wish for such a device - and if women could what would they put in this remote?

The White Tigress and The Dragon's Tail

Reading Ian Kerner's Passionista, "or the empowered woman's guide to enjoying sex to the fullest—and ensuring that he does the same", I collected some cute tips. Whilst a lot of the information provided is not new :) , the method of presentation was fun and extremely user friendly. The conclusion is that the orgasm is not as important as the journey towards it. That journey is defined by each one of us. The successful woman is the one who overcomes her man's inhibitions and tendency to take shortcuts.

But the most interesting bit I was introduced to was the concept of the White Tigress. These are allegedly the teachings of a long extinct secret society of Taoist sexual warriors. I confess I don't know what that means -a sexual warrior-, is that a spy or a gangster group of old times?

For the White Tigress , Eros basically maintains eternal youth and life energy. She could get it in two ways, both involving a male consort

(1) the one she seduces: the Green Dragon ( in modern words her playtoy :P)
(2) an equal partner: the Jade Dragon ( whom she pleasures and derives pleasure from)

The way of the White Tigress reminds me of the Kama Sutra, Tantric Love and other related topics with a mix of martial arts.

Googling White Tigress throws up some gems and some hometruths:

"

The Feminine Heart flourishes in love. Yet attracting trustworthy male energy, attracting friends, or lovers who have a strong sense of direction and purpose may seem difficult to find these days. Many women have spent years developing their own individuality and strength to the point where they have become tired of “doing it all”. Their own natural Feminine Heart has become masculinized, guarded and unsatisfied in love. For a woman to know deeper levels of intimacy, she needs to understand, reclaim and learn how to be at home in the beauty and power of her natural feminine essence." Amara [source].

How many women identify with the above? I'm curious for your input..

Applied in the modern world, the principle if I understand well is for a woman to take her life in her own hands like a White Tigress not to wait for things to happen to be fulfilled.
A modern passionista will 'learn to find the Green Dragon and the Jade Dragon in the same guy' [page 105].

A question for my male readers which type of dragon are you? As for my female readers have you found that dragon ? or is he a legendary being :P

Online dating tips for men and women

Browsing Yahoo website you come accross lots of interesting advice, among which are dating tips. since I'm writing chronicles about online dating I thought it would be fun to include these tips and see if all of you have made some of the mistakes listed.

Tips for men
Tips for women

Teeanage fantasies

I'm back from the holidays, Egypt was great and we had fun at my uncle's house in Alexandria. Some of my cousins are in their teens and they reminded me of myself at that age.

You know when you hit puberty all sort of emotions start raging inside you and I was not immune to that either. I would fantasize about a guy and usually the daydream would be like a movie with the main character him and me and romantic actions. I would describe this guy to my best friend in great details and she would sigh and laugh at me, then we would giggle. I spent a whole summer looking at magazines to find someone I could relate to. But there would always be a detail missing here and there. So many years have passed since I was 14, more than I care to say but at long last the fantasy has been brought to life. This man is the living incarnation of those fantasies.... what am I going to do knowing this vision is walking the earth !




HELP

Five things you did not know about me

Shlemazl tagged me (thanks), I am so excited as this is the first time someone does ...

(1) I am not that old !
(2) My daughter will soon be as tall as me .
(3) I love tight jeans and miniskirts
(4) I read a lot ( yes I do ! )
(5) I like horses and wish to learn to ride one day.

Whoever has not done this please consider yourself tagged..

Men Are Hard To Please

The problems with GUYS:

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;

If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.



If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.



If u ARG UE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;

If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.



If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;

If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.



If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;

If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.


If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;

If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.



If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;

If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.



If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;

If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.



If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.



If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;

If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEM A N.



If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;

If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.



If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;

If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
& sooo hard to please!!!!!



If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......
but if u don't, they say u are selfish.....

Guys is this true ???????

Training the American male

Michelle Fitoussi , in Elle magazine French version, had an interesting article on page 7 of the July 10 2006 issue ( I know it's funny we are in December and I'm ready the July issue, but I have so much on my plate ... ) So anyway Michelle was speaking about some American writer who wanted to train her man to behave the way she wants to and wrote about it to describe the procedure .

Why waste more time I thought this is cool let me find this article and read it first hand.

Modern Love
What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage
By AMY SUTHERLAND
Published: June 25, 2006

Excerpts

"As I wash dishes at the kitchen sink, my husband paces behind me, irritated. "Have you seen my keys?" he snarls, then huffs out a loud sigh and stomps from the room with our dog, Dixie, at his heels, anxious over her favorite human's upset.
In the past I would have been right behind Dixie. I would have turned off the faucet and joined the hunt while trying to soothe my husband with bromides like, "Don't worry, they'll turn up." But that only made him angrier, and a simple case of missing keys soon would become a full-blown angst-ridden drama starring the two of us and our poor nervous dog. Now, I focus on the wet dish in my hands. I don't turn around. I don't say a word. I'm using a technique I learned from a dolphin trainer.

[...] I wanted — needed — to nudge him a little closer to perfect, to make him into a mate who might annoy me a little less, who wouldn't keep me waiting at restaurants, a mate who would be easier to love. [...] Eventually it hit me that the same techniques might work on that stubborn but lovable species, the American husband.
The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don't. [...] You can't expect a baboon to learn to flip on command in one session, just as you can't expect an American husband to begin regularly picking up his dirty socks by praising him once for picking up a single sock.(LOOOOOL) [...]

I followed the students to SeaWorld San Diego, where a dolphin trainer introduced me to least reinforcing syndrome (L. R. S.). When a dolphin does something wrong, the trainer doesn't respond in any way. He stands still for a few beats, careful not to look at the dolphin, and then returns to work. The idea is that any response, positive or negative, fuels a behavior. If a behavior provokes no response, it typically dies away. In the margins of my notes I wrote, "Try on Scott! " [...]After two years of exotic animal training, my marriage is far smoother, my husband much easier to love. I used to take his faults personally; his dirty clothes on the floor were an affront, a symbol of how he didn't care enough about me. [...] When the training techniques worked so beautifully, I couldn't resist telling my husband what I was up to. He wasn't offended, just amused. As I explained the techniques and terminology, he soaked it up. Far more than I realized. [...] One morning, as I launched into yet another tirade about how uncomfortable I was, Scott just looked at me blankly. He didn't say a word or acknowledge my rant in any way, not even with a nod.
I quickly ran out of steam and started to walk away. Then I realized what was happening, and I turned and asked, "Are you giving me an L. R. S.?" Silence. "You are, aren't you?"
He finally smiled, but his L. R. S. has already done the trick. He'd begun to train me, the American wife."

The piece above reminded me so much of how I handle Pearl; praise here , punish here , subtly giving the message , just the usual life of a mother or Supernanny ( do you recall the TV series ? ).

Funnily enough many people wrote to Amy for advice :

Dear Amy: How do you get results from stubborn hubbies without being accused of
being the “nagger.” — Gail, Tampa, Fla.
Dear Gail: Simply adopt the approach
progressive animal trainers use: reward behavior you like and ignore, as much as
you can, behavior you don’t. When I did this with my husband, I found that I
almost stopped nagging. Almost, I say, because I am human, after all.

It also seems past literatture is ric\ch in books with the same message, such as in 1994 "how to make your man behave in 21 days using the professional dog trainers" - hilarious - what is it with men and dogs ? check the excerpts:

Doggie Dos and Don'ts: "Gentle strokes and playful petting techniques are
positive motivational techniques for rewarding good behavior."
Flight and Chase Behavior: "If your dog is running away from you, the worst
thing to do is chase after him . . . remain calm, act like you're having loads
of fun without him, and soon he'll be trotting eagerly back ."

Some people compared men to buses - ok less offensive than dog I daresay.


"Bloody men are like bloody buses - you wait for about a year and as soon
as one approaches your stop two or three others appear. Wendy
Cope" check her whole poem here .
That's actually quite appropriate to my earlier Baby post .

Do you think we should treat our men like kids ( or dogs ;-) ) and use all those expert advices on them ?

Why can't men be just like women and you don't need to resort to any stratagems ?

Do you think Amy's method would work on Libyans ? Or Arabs for that matter ?

The Signs of time












Evolution :)

Sex Academy

Yes you've heard right I can't believe my eyes when I saw this article in the news "Sex theme park to open in London" . People need to be thought how to make love ? Have people become that shy ? - but honestly I would not mind going to visit this place especially for this ;)

'The theme park will include life-sized silicone-made models which visitors
can touch to discover erogenous zones. '

That should be fun and watching the expression on people's faces

But this (below) promises to be even more fun ;) we get to see people's fantasies enacted live , where is my to do list ?

"People will also be able to build their ideal partner from a series of body
parts and there will be instructions on how best to kiss and how to talk more
sexily."

If you are interested in this museum if we can call it this way it's opening in September this year and it is something like the Kinsey institute I would say .
OK you must not think I'm some kind of pervert now ......just curious.