Friday, November 24, 2006

The Baby

After years of waiting you are given the chance to have a baby with the love of your life .... what do you do ?

Having a child toghether was our living daydream, his eyes and my skin colour, my hair and his long legs, etc.. the baby was going to be the cutest thing you ever saw walked the earth.... but hey it was only a dream to be indulged in . He has his own kids and I have Pearl ....

I'm not sure what happened, midlife crisis maybe ? but now suddenly after I had accepted that he will only be my mentor and best friend and after I have stopped thinking about him as a father to my kids ... he comes up out with this suggestion out of the blue :

"let's have that baby as soon as possible ! He /she will have my name, I will be
responsible for everything"

Oh my God ! what do I do ? is he asking me to marry him now after all these years ? He knows I won't be having any kids out of wedlock .. no matter how much I would be crazy in love..
What would you do ? share a man you loved with his family and fulfill you past dream safe in the knowledge that he will take care of you forever. Or go and have your baby with a man you love but don't need to share with anyone but at the same time where nothing is guaranteed except the excitement of starting a new life, new horizons and no complications .......

I like the following prayer very much: [ref] , when i find myself at loss .... but really the timing of this request is very very strange

"God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things which should be changed,and the
Wisdom to distinguishthe one from the other. "

Would you have his baby ? whose baby ? Life is really ironic first you have no choice and suddenly the choices are limitless..... do good things really come in threes or is it a poisoned chalice ?

Clarification 26-11-06 I see some readers did not understand :) the question is should she have the baby with her old love or new love ?


Chris in MB said...

You have this labeled as "fiction", is this a hypothetical situation?

Gee, & I thought my life was complicated! ;)

Libyan Violet said...

lol Chris what do you think , forget the labels .... baby or not and with whom :P ?

shlemazl said...

I was about to say "Go for it, girl!", when I read Chris's comment, which spoiled the whole thing.

If you are hypothetically asking me whether I would have had his baby, I would say that hypothetically I would, but realistically I have the wrong kind of anatomy.

piccolina said...

that is a very hard Q, coz it's not gonna end up once u have the babay , i mean it'll start from there , for me i'll pray istikhara for that and think of what will my girl/boy like in the future !!
maye u need to get away ..far away from the one u say u love .force ur self and trust me u'll get over it , time does wonders
after all i'm only 23 so i talk as far as i know !!!
GOD be with u inshallah

Libyan Violet said...

Shlemazl the hypothetical question is yes or no - we are sure your anatomy would not allow you to do this unless you want to be a guinea pig for science :P

Piccolina, that's the first sound advice I heard today - so you vote for baby with new love :) hey maybe I should count the votes now

Old love vs New Love :)

AngloLibyan said...

as im sure you would agree, the welfare of existing children comes first. a decision like this needs to be taken by you only I believe and im sure Allah would help you. best of luck InshAllah.

The Libyan Observer said...

Oh God, Dude I have a 2 yearold brother I dont need any kids of my own, the little rugrats are the devils foot soilders, they are monsters, they get in your shit, scream, bitch, and moan about everything.

Thanx but no Thanx, I prefer a peaceful existance, and plus, the average number of babies a Berber women shots out is like 9-10 and thats a conservative estimate, its propably much higher so ethnic extenction is not a issue, so I think I will avoid any parenting experiance. And just live my happy little life in peace.

Highlander said...

Interesting ....where is your heart but also were is your general well being Libyan Violet ? A man who knows how to take responsibility , someone you can count on , who will be there for you through thick and thin ( in sickness and in health to refer to your earlier post )and who never breaks promises. Think about it and you will know whose baby you want to have ...
These things are at times evident but we are blinded by details .