Friday, April 10, 2009

The uses of Facebook and other online social networks

In the Arab world traditions have it that whenthere is intent for marriage, the family of the groom usually asks about the bride and her family. They ask neighbours, work colleagues, school and do a little investigation about her suitability. But the girl's family also asks about the groom and his family so that there will be no surprises later. Some brides were known to refuse the offer if the suitor drinks (even socially) and is perfect in every other aspect as an example. Or maybe the marriage request is pulled of the table if the girl had been engaged before. It all depends on personal preference but basically it is about suitability and beeing of equal standing and peers in the society and not just about knowing if the girl has slept around or if the guy is a drug addict. My online friend T sent me this cartoon ( thanks ) and although I laughed at first, its significance struck me as being totally in sync with the times do you know why ? first let me say briefly what it means for those who can't read Arabic ....

Black and white cartoon: In the past
" You know what, before we go and ask for her hand let's go and ask about her and her parents for their neighbours and hopefully it will be good!"

Colour cartoon : In the present

"Don't tell your parents about her yet man, why dont you probe about her on facebook, check her profile, pictures, list of friends and who sent her flowers. Then investigate in Hi5 and it won't be wrong to Google her name see what comes up ... I mean I don't have anything specific on her, but you never know!"

Ironically this is exactly what happened to one of my neighbours, someone proposed to her and she and her cousin checked his profile on Facebook, he had 130 friends and they were all female :P.

Suffice to say that she was not too pleased about this... I don't know what happened afterwards.


Luna said...

Times have changed :-)

When a young lady married a young man from a good family the marriage was expected to be a 100% successful, and it was.

Nowadays ,it depends more on the individual young man and not on his family be they from a history of noble origin!

Good cartoon ,very funny but so true !

مفقود said...

LMAO ...

do not you just love virtual life :)

abdullah SH said...

caroon explain evrything even nowadays many things changed about marriage issue ...

in da end from my opinion just psychic step cuz even after da groomy 4 example looking as a super hero after family investigations tht`s nt meaning he save 4 his wive 4ever !!

complicated issue ,,,

salam ...

غيــــــــــــــداء said...

الغريب في الأمر إن الشاب يبدو أمام الجميع وكأنه قد تفضل على الفتاة بطلب يدها ويكون هذاالشاب لاميتلكط ابسط المقومات ليكون زوجا لها
مع حصول تحقيقات تفوق تحقيقات
وكالات المخابرات الأمريكية حول الفتاة كما قرات مرة في مدونة شهرزاد حول إن البعض من الليبيات يدونن على الشبكة بدون علم أزواجهن أو العائلة وكأنه عار يلصق بيهن

هذا نوع من التخلف

الرائع ان نجد فتيات نشطات على الشبكة وعلى الفيس بوك لأعمال للوطن ولهن وللمجتمع

سلامي فيوليت هذه زيارتي الأولى هنا

Libyan Violet said...

Luna yes I agree, it was only two decades ago not too far away in time.. this is indeed very sad. Now a good family is no longer a guarantee of anything which is scary !!!

Libyan Violet said...

Mafkoud you know what I think I'm starting to like virtual life more and more as the real one is full of #@$@#%$.

Libyan Violet said...

Abdulla SH , yes you are right but it works both ways for the groom and the bride.. we have more and more hypocrites here and downright criminals !

Libyan Violet said...

Geda, welcome to my blog, honoured that you are reading it.

Yes the investigations done are more thorough than the CIA and Mossad combined :P and in the end both parties and the people whom they ask end up lying through their teeth :( and we have a recipe for divorce later on or even extra marital affairs.

By the way today I'm cynical a lot as I'm not feeling in a good mood - time to write another post I guess.