Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The Dowry - 2

Before we start this is a disclaimer: all stories posted are true but slightly novelized after translation from Arabic for your consumption, they do not necessarily reflect my opinions.


Last time we left A. languishing at home with her child after her divorce, she had lost her self -respect, was hurt by M.’s betrayal of their love and her sacrifice.

So what happened after he married someone else ?

Four years later he started asking to visit his son, isn’t that a bit weird you are wondering? Well it is, but what is the secret behind this change of heart ? The reason is that his new wife DID NOT get pregnant; in Libya after the honeymoon is over you start worrying if there is no baby on the way , so imagine the state of affairs after four years ? He had also probably matured along the way. To cut a story short he divorced his second barren wife and his visits to his son begun to grow longer and longer. He recalled the old flame and his heart warmed up? I mean here was a beautiful woman whom he ‘discovers’ he still loved, they had a son why not just reunite the family?
So he repented and proposed again. Yeah men can really have their cake and eat it right ? Because for any divorced woman marriage is a second chance such is the society that it is better not to be divorced (that has got nothing to do with Islam). A. wanted to return to him because she still loved him but she has learned a big lesson and the first one is that love is not all.

She let him simmer, and then this time around she had a proper contract with proper dowry after all he was able to get the stuff for his second wife right?

If I was in her place I would never take him back, after all he did dump her for a stupid argument and replaced her with a blink of an eye. But she was not a true rebel, only a girl in love and ‘yidrab il7ub shu bi zil ‘ says the Arab proverb.

And now what are they doing ? well they have four kids. And his second wife remarried and also had children she was not infertile after all. I like to believe that it was just God’s way of teaching M. a lesson in humility. He did have to go and seek her forgiveness no?

Would you have take him back ?

6 comments:

Nightlegend said...

You really shocked me ,she accepted his return!! ,and you say she was still loving him after all he did? ,after humilating her and dumbing her like that!! ,where is her self-respect? ,this man is a PIG as our dear sister loulou discribed him ,why she would return to him? ,was she still believing that he has even the slightest touch of humanity inside him?

But you know what I think? ,I think she chose to be back not because she loves him ,but because you know that(and forgive me to say that) in our arabic (retarded)socities the divorced woman is usually going through a very dificult times for various of reasons which has no space here to be discussed ,she chose the stability that her marriage may offer ,and above that she knew she couldn't afford to live the rest of her life single like that and she was going to remarry sooner or later ,she may feared that her new husband will miss treat her son or something like that ,so getting back to her first husband will insure that something like that will not happen ,cause he is his son ,his own flesh & blood.

LouLou said...

This is just proves what I thought. This man is not only a pig. He's a selfish pig. He dumps the first wife because she loved him. And then he dumps the second wife because she couldn't have kids even though he's not childless & he already has a son whose mother he'd dumped before.

This woman is a compulsive victim type. She let him fool her the first time & didn't see his true nature for 7 whole years. And now she trusts him again. Why?How?How can you trust someone like that not to stab you in the back again?

I think the dowry issue is besides the point here. You can't marry someone untrustworthy & expect a written contract to make him trustworthy. There are a million & one other ways he can betray her whenever he sees it might be to his advantage to do so despite the contract. Lots of men who can't divorce their wives because it would cost them too much stay married to them but neglect them & cheat on them. Or they mistreat you so much you give up all your rights just to be free.

I feel sorry for her. She will never be really safe with someone like that. And also for her son & any other child she might have who has to grow up with such a father figure.

Libyan Violet said...

Nightlegend and Loulou: Yes I believe he is untrustworthy, but unfortunately it was the dowry issue which brought things up to the surface. It was the only way he found how to hurt her quick and mean :(....hope you are not depressed by these stories ? they do reflect a reality in which we live, and she did choose the easiest path I guess as being a divorcee is no fun.

Maggs said...

Pearls a gift of love which she will adore and pass down the generations. Give her pearls for Christmas!

Anonymous said...

If I was in her place I would never take him back, after all he did dump her for a stupid argument and replaced her with a blink of an eye. But she was not a true rebel, only a girl in love and ‘yidrab il7ub shu bi zil ‘ says the Arab proverb.

And now what are they doing ? well they have four kids. And his second wife remarried and also had children she was not infertile after all. I like to believe that it was just God’s way of teaching M. a lesson in humility. He did have to go and seek her forgiveness no?

Would you have take him back ?


To be blunt he is an asshole. It is her life, she wants to screw her life, that's her choice.

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