Taxis and love stories
Taxi drivers are the same anywhere in the world, and those in Libya do not differ from those in Bangkok it seems with their wish to talk with their customers. Either that or I must be attracting the weirdest characters.
Today since my car was scheduled to be serviced I decided to use a taxi for my various errands. I hailed a cab to return home and usually I like to make my phone calls in the car as this saves time. I left a message on my friend's answer machine and was telling Pearl on the other line that I will soon be home when the driver - let's call him X interrupts me :
Miss - I'd like to take your opinion about something that concerns me and which I believe that you can help me decide on...
me: go ahead
X: I work in a company - this driving thing is a part time job only to make ends meet- and I became involved with a colleague who is already engaged to someone.
X: I mean nothing haram - but it started as a friendship and colleagues supporting each other at work and seems to have developped into caring for each other or maybe what they call love ( he is saying this really shyly) - I mean don' t take me wrong but I think I understood that the fiance was forced on her and well anyway now I cannot imagine myself without her.
me ( putting my sunglasses on to cover my eyes as I became uncomfortable) : OK so what can I do for you ?
X: well you see we kind of had a fight and now she is not picking up the phone and sometimes she does pick it up - and you know the more I don't talk to her the more I miss her.
me : OK - ( I guess he just wants someone to share his story with )
X : well - to be honest I love her very much and would marry her straight away if she breaks up her engagement.
me : how generous of you - ok so what's the problem ?
X: the thing is Im afraid that if I marry her I would not be able to help myself to doubt her..
me: now we're talking ..what do you mean?
X: well Im scared that I may be thinking that since she spoke to me while she was engaged she may talk to another man when we are married... are girls like that ? I mean you know you are one..
me : no I am not one , don't bring me as an example so what's your point ?
X: sorry no offense meant I just wanted your opinion - you females talk to each other and maybe you can give me some advice.
me: well this is not about me so don't drag me in it- but basically you love this woman to the point of wanting to marry her and yet despite that you are admitting you most likely will not trust her not to cheat on you since she is 'cheating' on the fiance she does not love even though all you are doing is talking ? and you want me to put your conscience at rest?
Sorry my advice - is twofold : (1) let her ditch her fiance and you marry her and live happily ever after and stop the evil thoughts since she was cheating to talk with you because you love each other or (2) stop all contact with her and let her get on with her life - you should not be involved romantically with a spoken for woman and to be honest she should not have been speaking with you either even if she does not care for her fiance. But leaving him to be with you will be a loss for since your love is no garantie that you will not ruin her life with your doubts. Therefore let her have the security with a man who obviously does wish to marry her.
X: I've thought about all that - but I miss her too much and I want her to start talking to me again as this makes me feel so much better. I'm lost without her in my life. At least let us get back to talking to each other and sharing problems etc...
me: seems to me you are selfish - you want your cake and to eat it? - you want to have the woman in your life because you have gotten used to her as a friend etc.. and you don't want to shoulder the responsibility of a wife, so you won't mind her being with the other man as long as you can have her whenever the whim to talk to her takes you ? wow
X: no - no but I cannot believe what she told me that she will never forget me if we are apart - is it true women don't forget ? I mean you know ...
me : no I don't know ... but if you both love each other than I'm sure like you can't forget her she can't forget you. However, you need to think straight about your objectives. If you want her as mother of your children and companion go get her and stop beating round the bush. If you want a platonic mistress for your own selfish reasons - even if you call that love- then stop it right now. Finally if you love her then you would do what is best for her! May God guide you in the right path my brother and pray to Him a lot. Can you please turn to the right here that's my street.
Now I'm wondering - do I have written on my face marriage counsellor ? His story is not unique it's a classic in Libya. Man loves woman and vice versa but is reluctant to marry her because she spoke with him... therefore she may speak to another man after she secures him as husband. With all due respect, and although I know there are numerous cheating wives, you men forget that she spoke to you because something about you charmed her and she fell in love. Seems it is never a win-win situation..sigh