tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19045277.post113562171109420820..comments2023-10-29T16:35:05.254+01:00Comments on Violet...: Libyan Violethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14186336309612490755noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19045277.post-1135697359204997632005-12-27T16:29:00.000+01:002005-12-27T16:29:00.000+01:00Hi Nightlegend, thanks for your input, yes isn't i...Hi Nightlegend, thanks for your input, yes isn't it regretfull about all these expensive conditions? specially knowing the salary of a muwadaf. My understanding about Egyptian traditions is that the wife has to get the furniture and otehr stuff right ? I'm not really sure. what I know about Libya is what happened in the last decades.But this situation lasted only till the mid 90s then parents and girls realised that it was not going to work, and many cut the crap and started putting ordinary mahr as it was meant to be. You shoud see the number of weddings. the problem in Libya was compounded because renting/leasing was prohibited by the law, so what do you do if you cannot afford to buy a house ? Now things are better and young couples have more opportunities. But I still think that putting even a symbolic 'mahr' and clarifying things in your contract will be better for the woman in the long run. At least the Libyan woman, because our guys here need another 1000 years to wake up from their slumber. You love him , go out with him , get engaged discuss everything and get married and the next day he wakes up turns the CD and wants you to dress conservatively, stop working, stop studying , drop your friends and serve him hand and foot. But if you have it in writing he cannot argue:)<BR/><BR/>Thank you for letting me see that not all men are like this. That gives me hope .Libyan Violethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14186336309612490755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19045277.post-1135696355991408742005-12-27T16:12:00.000+01:002005-12-27T16:12:00.000+01:00Hi Loulou :) Thank you for visiting my blog despit...Hi Loulou :) Thank you for visiting my blog despite being so busy with your wedding preparation. I appreciate the gesture. Khudi ra7tek, I don't think you are argumentative at all. I do believe that the guy was not worth her sacrifice - but she knew him for 7 years. The mahr does not mean buying a wife or a jaria and I'm sure you realise that. It is our society which has defaced beautiful gesture and made people materialistic only looking for appearances. She wanted to do the right thing and I don't blame her for it, however I blame her for her foolishness in doing it brashly, that is why her fall was great. She is a victim but a stupid one. She could have agreed with her dad that she did not want a dowry and he would have said it in the majlis ( this is done you know) and it would have been absolutely fine. But her method only brought problems in a conservative society. She should have known better. Or she should have chosen not to have a traditional wedding and therefore no need for the men to gather etc.. but she wanted it all. Her husband is a total #@@ in my opinion.Libyan Violethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14186336309612490755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19045277.post-1135681202260833342005-12-27T12:00:00.000+01:002005-12-27T12:00:00.000+01:00Inour (retarded arab countries) things like dowry ...Inour (retarded arab countries) things like dowry ,shabka & mahr in Egypt still determining alot of things ,I am still wondering why there's such a very expensive conditions to be applied to marriages in poor arab countries like Egypt ,here the thing is very melodramatic ,the young man who is still a fresh graduate and thinking about getting married to his beloved one has to rething 1000000 times ,he has a very long list to do and the sarcasm here is that the average salary here will buy you a house in about 40 years!! ,when you look at situations like that you expect the families to be more merciful on the young man who is proposing their daughter ,but again we clash with the traditions and the other blah blah ,the families simply ignores the fact that the young couple who are in love simply needs to spend the rest of their lives together regardless of the families dumb requirements.<BR/><BR/>I have also a comment about the (A) story ,my dear friend loulou said she fell in love with a (pig) ,excuseme to say and I am sorry to say that ,this man is not only a pig he's a SCUMBAG ,someone like that is simply inhuman being on all the aspects ,but here rises a question ,they were (supposedly) in love for 7 years ,didn't she discover ,predict or even have a simple hint about his future behaviours ,she sacrifised alot for him and he dumbs here so easily?? ,and worse than that he calls her(cheap)!! ,what an animal he is!<BR/><BR/>I can assure you that not all the men are like this person ,alot of men will appreciate everything that their beloved ones do for them ,and live up to that.<BR/><BR/>waiting to hear what happened next.Nightlegendhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09806519615192355921noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19045277.post-1135668089171966192005-12-27T08:21:00.000+01:002005-12-27T08:21:00.000+01:00Hi Violet,I hate to sound argumentative in my firs...Hi Violet,<BR/><BR/>I hate to sound argumentative in my first comment ever but this story made me angry. As far as am concerned the only mistake this girl made was falling in love with a pig. If he thinks her value to her family or to him is actually something to be calculated in material terms then he never loved her & he has no respect for women & should have undergone extensive psychiatric treatment before ever getting involved with anyone else. She is well rid of him & she should thank God she didn't waste anymore time with him. Women are not commodities. It's stupid to think that a woman whose dowry was 10000 is worth less than a woman whose dowry was 20000. As far as I know slavery was abolished a long time ago & we are not jawari in this day & age.<BR/><BR/>The dowry is just a formality to seal the contract. It's not the girl's value or price. I would never live with a man who made me feel he 'bought' me with his money. Or that all am worth to him is what he paid in dowry even if the dowry was millions.LouLouhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02443208498887256473noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19045277.post-1135640083197936372005-12-27T00:34:00.000+01:002005-12-27T00:34:00.000+01:00Hello Me and thank you for visiting my blog. Walah...Hello Me and thank you for visiting my blog. Walahi you lived in Libya? oh that is so nice ..maybe we even new each other. Did you go to university here? I have many Egyptian friends, but most of them returned back home after graduation.<BR/><BR/>I agree with you about 7ikam rabena .Libyan Violethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14186336309612490755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19045277.post-1135632772400704792005-12-26T22:32:00.000+01:002005-12-26T22:32:00.000+01:00First of all welcome to the blogosphere :-)...nice...First of all welcome to the blogosphere :-)...nice to read the thoughts of one of my "friends" from Libya... <BR/><BR/>You see...I'm an Egyptian who has lived all her life in Libya... and now moved back to Egypt...<BR/><BR/>What you wrote may be sad ... but it's true... most of the people in our countries consider the girl who makes too many sacrifices to get married to the person she loves .."cheap" ... like "rakhasit nafsaha" ...<BR/><BR/>I believe God says things in the Quran for a reason... He knows the human soul (nafs)....and so there is always a "7ekma" to the guidelines set in the Quran to help us lead our lives...Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00819299606864392656noreply@blogger.com