The first week at university is the week where you not only learn about the building and the campus and make friends but it is the one during which you receive an induction about life.
For me it was the third day that was most significant, that was the day when 5 or 6 girls took me aside and told me that if you don't secure a guy from the beginning you are not going to get married anytime soon. Violet! they said forget about honesty and love and play the game, don't be too smart even if you are in a faculty were only the smartest are accepted, if you like someone don't show it yet at the same time pay attention to him, feign innocence even if you want to go to bed him there and then. Say no all the time not in the name of morality and purity but just so he can think you are pure and virginal. At least if you want to marry him. If you follow this prescription you will get any man for keeps. Libyan men don't really care if you love them or not, all they care about is if you tick the right trigger points in their imagination.
I thought that was such a cynical piece of advice, but with hindsight I would say it does not only apply to Libyan men but probably all men. I find it sad that one needs to play a game to be with a man you love and know you are right for him and he right for you.
All those girls ended up married just after they graduated even though they dated several guys at the same time.
Then I read a post by Shams-she has made the same observation about the advice those girls gave me.
"You were brought up with virtues of honesty, bravery and principles, but when the heartache begins, you know that you offered the utmost idealism and honesty of all, and you forgot war is man, and man is war of contradictions...you think attraction is spontaneous, and all the natural chemistry of two civilized beings, you mistaken, attraction is politics of hide and seek and the use of imagination to obstruct reality...Reality for man does not see romance in daylight, only through beams of illusions [...] you want your heart to speak in truth, you want your hands to stretch in liberty to his use, you want to reach deep in your feminine side, you want to give and give and love... I then apologize for your idealists shortcoming for he is an animal, he would not understand truthful civilization, he wants the game, the challenge, the risk, the caveman life... the exception are only for the enlightened, kind ones, and you can count few, almost a myth .[sic]"
Those enlightened men are rare and far between one can almost forget about them just like my legendary dragon. I still have not learned to play the game, and I refuse to play it.